After years of people-pleasing that left me anxious, overthinking, and constantly guilty, I discovered that being my own best friend meant learning to fill my own cup instead of serving everyone else at the cost of me. I developed some questions to ask before saying yes to opportunities, distinguishing between daily maintenance tasks that keep me functioning and longer cup-filling activities that restore my creativity and joy. Using a cup level chart (0-10 scale), I learned to recognize warning signs when my cup runs empty and take action to care for me - not in a selfish way, but so I can show up as my best self for the people and work I am called to. The key insight: you can only care for others to the extent you care for yourself, and taking conscious responsibility for filling your own cup is the first step to being my own best friend.

I struggle with wanting to "fix" everyone I love, even though I know nobody (including me) wants to be told what to do. The closer someone is to me, the harder it is to shut up, especially when I've been through something similar and want to share my wisdom. I've learned to recognize my warning signs - like when I stop listening and can only think about what I want to say next, or when I'm consumed with sharing my "wisdom" even though they haven't asked. The solution isn't about giving advice; it's about genuine curiosity - asking questions because I want to understand their world, not steer them toward my solution. I'm learning to "sit in it" with people instead of rushing to fix, and I check myself with three questions: Have I listened well? Do they feel loved? Have I been asked for solutions? Sometimes I literally have to yell at myself "IT ISN'T MINE TO FIX! STOP SHELLEY GO BACK TO LISTENING!" because the reality is we all grow differently, and my job is to walk beside them, not fix them.

You know that feeling when your computer has 20 tabs open and it starts running really slow? That's my brain without routines. I feel completely out of control, really irritable, and can get REAL bitey with my family when someone interrupts me, chews too loudly, asks me a question. Anyone else?

We ALL need help at different times with different things to be able to move forward in our life.  Using a resource that has more experience than you are also commonplace – we hire help with our taxes, hair, medical care, remodeling, however when it comes to managing our stress, mental health, life changes we refuse. 

My thoughts are going many directions, however for this post I want to start by explaining that this blog isn't necessarily going to be about my business as much as it is about life in general.  My hope though is that it will definitely apply to those looking for some help, encouragement, and a way to sort out life.  I can promise you this will be real, fun, have variety, and just what strikes me in the moment.